These are the prices you can pay to have a professional style your doll’s hair.

These are the prices you can pay to have a professional style your doll’s hair.
barbell
Image by Malingering
God forbid you play with it yourself. Whatever parent gives their kid to get their doll’s hair braided needs to be sterilized.

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100 Responses to These are the prices you can pay to have a professional style your doll’s hair.

  1. KennethMoyle says:

    I’m speechless. Well, almost.

  2. wskrz says:

    $20 for braiding a dolls hair?!!? Damn, I’m in the wrong business.

    Do they do cornrows and dreads too?

  3. veggirl38 says:

    wskrz is right, we are SO in the wrong business. I braid my daughters doll everyday for free, who’s the sucker? I’m going to start charging her!!

  4. Huro Kitty says:

    i’m astounded that it has become so ridiculously easy to separate stupid people from their money.

  5. celticman53225 says:

    See P.T. Barnum’s comments from the 1800’s….

  6. bbdoyle says:

    no, i think PTB said "you can suck some of the people some of the time…"

  7. monkeyjunkie says:

    Wow, even better than the $20 braid is the $15 ribbon around the head.

  8. TheDamnMushroom says:

    I wonder, did this come about due to lack of coiffure talent among youth (and their mothers) or because your average kid will pull out the scissors and give ’em a punker cut?

  9. cmrowell says:

    Amazing. $10 for a ponytail. Would they kick you out if you setup a stand outside of the place and offered to do it for half that? I got a bunch of extra rubber bands lying around.

    Seen on your photo stream. (?)

  10. flikkerzzz8749493004948849 says:

    wow $15 for a plain-strait down hairstyle? geesh, i agree with wskrz and veggigrl38, we are soo in the wrong business

  11. Malingering says:

    that’s what the doll in the next photo is waiting for

  12. Malingering says:

    The best part is, the "salon" is always full. There was a sign up that said "next available appointment is in 4 hours." I wonder if you have to tip the stylist. And you forget, some of the dolls really need this because their owners are no good with the upkeep.

  13. veggirl38 says:

    The salon is FULL???? I would have been right there with your sister getting annoyed with the moms. What is wrong with these moms, seriously? What ever happened to having pretend salons at home. God forbid we have are child actually use their imagination.

  14. peejaybird says:

    They had better use 24k gold filigree in the frickin’ ribbons that they put on these. Seriously–WTF?

  15. meowhous the iconoclast says:

    Time to call CPS. Parents this stupid should be locked up for the good of us all and the kids put in foster care. At the parent’s expense, of course.

  16. wskrz says:

    Assholes!

    I’ll never buy from them again.

    Oh wait. I don’t already.

    Nevermind.

  17. meowhous the iconoclast says:

    I feel like taking up a collection…not so Etta can buy a "real" doll, but so that she could buy the franchise and fire everyone.

  18. Malingering says:

    who wants to help me stage a protest in front of the store?

  19. Huro Kitty says:

    i’ll help! but what would we wear?

  20. Malingering says:

    I tried posting to the consumerist site but it won’t approve my comment. I’ve been banned everywhere.

  21. Malingering says:

    You wear whatever you want and I’ll wear a smaller version of it and you can carry me around in a red bag.

  22. wskrz says:

    You should bring a bunch of cheap dolls and cut their hair outside AGP in protest. Leave all the shorn hair at the front entrance.

  23. meowhous the iconoclast says:

    I hope they’ve gone back and revised any of the older American Girl books etc to make sure that every American Girl, no matter what her struggle, still goes weekly to have a nice style & shampoo at her local salon / rain barrel / rushing stream. And that she pays and leaves a suitable tip.

  24. salome456 says:

    So? Did any of you stage a protest in front of AG stores? How’d it go?
    The comment that CPS should be called on parents who take their kids and their dolls to an AG doll salon was silly; when some unfortunate kids are in ICU or morgue due to real child abuse.
    Anyway……… Are some of you actually trying to dictate how other people spend their money?
    Who cares? Pay 100 bucks for doll, 40, 15, or 2 bucks at the Goodwill….. use your money for toilet paper… it’s your money, not mine.
    I tell no one how to spend their paycheck. LOL!!

  25. wskrz says:

    That you take any of the comments above seriously is pretty sad.

    "Anyone without a sense of humor is at the mercy of everyone else."
    William Rotsler

  26. ohsaycantyousee says:

    salome456 (what happened to 123?) says:

    So? Did any of you stage a protest in front of AG stores? How’d it go?
    The comment that CPS should be called on parents who take their kids and their dolls to an AG doll salon was silly; when some unfortunate kids are in ICU or morgue due to real child abuse.
    Anyway……… Are some of you actually trying to dictate how other people spend their money?
    Who cares? Pay 100 bucks for doll, 40, 15, or 2 bucks at the Goodwill….. use your money for toilet paper… it’s your money, not mine.
    I tell no one how to spend their paycheck. LOL!!

    Well, god knows that if we’re not out there spending uberdollars for ridiculous shit that we and our kids don’t need, that the terrorists will have won, the downturn in the economy will be our fault and George Bush will sprout a flower out of his ass every time we use our credit cards.

    And please, salome. Since you’ve already demonstrated that you don’t have a sense of humor, please know that I’m kidding.

    Holy fuck. Please tell me you believe everything you see on the Internet too. That would just be the highlight to my day.

  27. paronomeister™ says:

    Oh I dunno mal, maybe we should draw a veil over this discussion.
    *demands ohsay’s head on a platter*

  28. bfd995 S.W.A.K says:

    The terrorists say they don’t want anybody sending me checks in the amount of $100.00 or higher. Please don’t let them win. Be a fightin’ American. Send me those checks for 100.00 or higher and show the terrorists you are unafraid. Every time you send me some money, I think a terrorist loses hope, just a little.

  29. paronomeister™ says:

    I’ve got some bad news for you bfd. Ever heard of the low-income global economy?

    (So now who’s the terrorist?)

  30. bfd995 S.W.A.K says:

    Uh… OK.. that’s a "think piece". Let me study on that.

  31. meowhous the iconoclast says:

    I didn’t stage a protest at the store, but every time I go see a kids movie and they run the trailer for the AGD movie, that’s me you hear vomiting in the third row.

    HTH.

  32. wskrz says:

    "Uh… OK.. that’s a ‘think piece’"

    HEY! No thinking allowed!

  33. salome456 says:

    Please tell me you believe everything you see on the Internet too. That would just be the highlight to my day.
    *********************************************************
    Nope, I don’t believe everything I read or see on the internet. And even if I did, and you felt that knowledge would highlight your day, it must be a boring day for you.
    Regardless of the tone, intent, or meaning behind comments here, the majority of posts are whining about how other folks spend their money. As long as you earn it, steal it, inherit it, whatever; …you can wipe your a$$ with it for all I care.
    Anyway… ……..
    whether the posts here are dead serious, tongue-in-cheek, or merely in jest , AG/Mattel "laughs" all the way to the bank.

  34. meowhous the iconoclast says:

    And, of course, they’re more than entitled to, by your reckoning.

    It must be a boring day for you too.

  35. salome456 says:

    I didn’t stage a protest at the store, but every time I go see a kids movie and they run the trailer for the AGD movie, that’s me you hear vomiting in the third row.
    ***********************************************************************
    Your prerogative.

  36. Svarte Froskebokser says:

    As I it see, the majority of posts are about how other folks who then spend use or not use their brains whining. As long as you a brain have, you can your arruso with it wipe, for all that I a fick care. Or see.

  37. bfd995 S.W.A.K says:

    Are these my secret MENSA tests? If they are give me more time.

  38. salome456 says:

    And, of course, they’re more than entitled to, by your reckoning.
    It must be a boring day for you too.
    *********************************************************************

    Nope, that’s not by my ‘reckoning.’ LOL!
    Never said that. Never even implied that. Your assumption, not mine.
    Do you feel that folks who spend their money at A/Girl believe that they are more ‘entitled’ than those who don’t shop there?
    Do people who choose to purchase expensive game-systems for their kids believe they are more ‘entitled’ than people who choose not to?
    I agree we live in a nation of consumer-ism: Hi-tech toys, expensive interactive stuffed toys like Web-kins, designer labels on folks butts, feet, and toenails, McMansions, the list goes on.
    However, I do not not believe that everyone who chooses to spend more money on an item than I do have some sense of special entitlement.
    People can choose where they want to direct a 401K, decide whether to buy a Coach bag or a WallyWorld special, purchase their kids an AG doll or a yellow-tag Goodwill deal, or whether to treat them to a Happy Meal, homemade PB&J, or a Coach&Six dinner.

    And yeah….. it is a somewhat boring day for me. Off and on, that is.

  39. bfd995 S.W.A.K says:

    I almost have the answers. I didn’t expect this today. So far I have that the dolls aren’t bad and that low income global terrorism is possible. I’m normally way smarter than this… give me another second!

  40. ohsaycantyousee says:

    Do you feel that folks who spend their money at A/Girl believe that they are more ‘entitled’ than those who don’t shop there?

    Some yes. I’ve been there and I’ve seen it.

    lemming

    This is a lemming. While there is such a thing as an animal called a lemming (lemmus lemmus go look it up on Wiki), there is also an old video game (of which this character above comes from) in which the lemmings mindlessly move around en masse and get themselves into trouble.

    People who insist on following trends, regardless of the price, because everyone else has one/is doing it/looks cool with it/etc (such as American Girl Dolls), are also lemmings.

    It has nothing to do with income. This has nothing to do with entitlement. It has everything to do with not being an individual and being suckered into what commercialism sells you. And that people are teaching their children that this kind of behavior is acceptable is ridiculous.

    THAT is what we’re railing against. We are ridiculing the insanity of $100 dolls when a $10 doll would be good enough. Teaching children that the quantity, the brand and the price tag of a doll is more important than anything else is what we’re pissed off about.

    Go look at the other pictures and commentary that Malingering has posted about AG dolls before you try to base an argument off of one picture.

    Thus endeth the lesson.

  41. meowhous the iconoclast says:

    Good lord, the people who go to the AGD store don’t whip up "homemade" pbjs for their kids! If they don’t have time to have a little salad nicoise (imported olives only, please) at the AGD cafe, then they go home and have the cook make up something. She lives in and is such a treasure, not to mention a bargain, as long as INS doesn’t find out, haha!

    You must be thinking of Etta and her little Target faux doll. And let’s all confess: those people paid good money for the privilege to taunt poor children! How dare we criticize them! Oh, wait…the employees taunted her too–well, they were just doing their job, encouraging people to feel good spending their money on doll hair cuts so that they could laugh at people who are poorer than they are.

  42. wskrz says:

    re: lemmings…I loved that video game!

  43. salome456 says:

    Good lord, the people who go to the AGD store don’t whip up "homemade" pbjs for their kids! If they don’t have time to have a little salad nicoise (imported olives only, please) at the AGD cafe, then they go home and have the cook make up something. She lives in and is such a treasure, not to mention a bargain, as long as INS doesn’t find out, haha!
    *************************************************************************

    And you came about all this personal information about AG shoppers how?
    Do sweeping generalizations like this often?

    You must be thinking of Etta and her little Target faux doll. And let’s all confess: those people paid good money for the privilege to taunt poor children! How dare we criticize them! Oh, wait…the employees taunted her too–well, they were just doing their job, encouraging people to feel good spending their money on doll hair cuts so that they could laugh at people who are poorer than they are.
    ************************************************************************

    If this woman was so upset over this so-called incident, why did she turn down media attention(according to her story). Seems to me that FOX News or 11Alive would have brought more attention to her plight.
    By the way AG is owned by Mattel. How many Mattel toys have you folks purchased?
    Boycott the whole company why dont-cha?

  44. salome456 says:

    THAT is what we’re railing against. We are ridiculing the insanity of $100 dolls when a $10 doll would be good enough.

    Well you have a lot of railing to do regarding the consumer-ism in this country. Is American Girl Place just your first stop? What company are you going after next? NIKE, Old Navy, or you can also start railing about the price of Hannah Montana concert tickets. LOL!! LOL!!!

    Teaching children that the quantity, the brand and the price tag of a doll is more important than anything else is what we’re pissed off about.

    Pissed off? About where other people spend their money or what people do or don’t teach their own kids? Anyone twisting your arm making you spend that much money for a doll or a doll hair do…. or does this affect your own kids if you have any?

    Other folks shopping habits don’t affect my personal life, unless it’s something like bringing drugs or illegal activities into my community.

    Go look at the other pictures and commentary that Malingering has posted about AG dolls before you try to base an argument off of one picture.

    I have.
    This person has a lot of photos posted about a business which h/she appears to vehemently disagree with. Malingering’s opinion’s are her American right. (although I’m not so sure if it’s wise to have photo’s of other people’s children posted without parent’s permission…. don’t know, just wondering)

    Kinda funny that Etta’s mom sent her daughter there to get a $20.00 hair-do for a doll. Doesn’t matter what kind of doll. Etta’s mom made the decision to spend 20 bucks for a doll hairstyle.
    And folks here are complaining about the prices that the woman made an initial choice to spend in the first place….and everything else in the store.

    I am not minimizing the shabby treatment the child received, because that was uncalled for. (That is, if it really happened)The blog doesn’t mention whether or not Etta’s ‘chaperone’ complained immediately to management and all other necessary parties within the store, including giving the the so-called rude mothers a well-deserved talking to?
    Did she?
    I would have.

  45. bfd995 S.W.A.K says:

    I just noticed Malingering’s remark about dressing up a smaller version of her like me and carrying her around. Now it’s all I can think about. Oh yeah, American Girl dolls don’t suck, only the entire philosophy behind them that is excreted by the company making them sucks. Also the moron’s who swallow it hook line and sinker and regurgitate it into the open mouths of their little brood. I would prefer to dwell on a miniature Malingering who looks exactly like me.

  46. paronomeister™ says:

    Hey bfd even I would prefer a minature doll that looks like you.

  47. meowhous the iconoclast says:

    Salome, sorry if you can’t keep up, but this is the last time I will do your homework for you:

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/malingering/446150787/

    You’d think a person who can’t be bothered to post any photos or even write a profile or even proofread would have a little time to do something other than rant right here on this photo…

  48. TheOriginalCaptainObvious says:

    salome456 says:
    THAT is what we’re railing against. We are ridiculing the insanity of $100 dolls when a $10 doll would be good enough.

    Well you have a lot of railing to do regarding the consumer-ism in this country. Is American Girl Place just your first stop? What company are you going after next? NIKE, Old Navy, or you can also start railing about the price of Hannah Montana concert tickets. LOL!! LOL!!!

    Teaching children that the quantity, the brand and the price tag of a doll is more important than anything else is what we’re pissed off about.

    Pissed off? About where other people spend their money or what people do or don’t teach their own kids? Anyone twisting your arm making you spend that much money for a doll or a doll hair do…. or does this affect your own kids if you have any?

    Other folks shopping habits don’t affect my personal life, unless it’s something like bringing drugs or illegal activities into my community.

    Go look at the other pictures and commentary that Malingering has posted about AG dolls before you try to base an argument off of one picture.

    I have.
    This person has a lot of photos posted about a business which h/she appears to vehemently disagree with. Malingering’s opinion’s are her American right. (although I’m not so sure if it’s wise to have photo’s of other people’s children posted without parent’s permission…. don’t know, just wondering)

    Kinda funny that Etta’s mom sent her daughter there to get a $20.00 hair-do for a doll. Doesn’t matter what kind of doll. Etta’s mom made the decision to spend 20 bucks for a doll hairstyle.
    And folks here are complaining about the prices that the woman made an initial choice to spend in the first place….and everything else in the store.

    I am not minimizing the shabby treatment the child received, because that was uncalled for. (That is, if it really happened)The blog doesn’t mention whether or not Etta’s ‘chaperone’ complained immediately to management and all other necessary parties within the store, including giving the the so-called rude mothers a well-deserved talking to?
    Did she?
    I would have.

    I wish to preface my comment with the statement that I have read all the prior comments in their entirety and so feel eminently qualified to pass judgement on what was said.

    salome456 said…..
    Pissed off? About where other people spend their money or what people do or don’t teach their own kids? Anyone twisting your arm making you spend that much money for a doll or a doll hair do…. or does this affect your own kids if you have any?

    Other folks shopping habits don’t affect my personal life, unless it’s something like bringing drugs or illegal activities into my community.

    I’m bolding this so that you have an opportunity to read this again and digest it. salome456, do you honestly believe that the consumerism of others, and the values they instill upon their children, don’t affect your life? REALLY????

    Tell the truth, now – you voted for Bush twice, didn’t you?

    Wow, what a day they picked to have the universe suddenly have a rectal fistula.

    Have a nice day.

    CO

  49. meowhous the iconoclast says:

    Oh, rats–I suppose it’s an improvement, but HumorSense ’95 isn’t compatible with the IronyPlugin, right?

  50. wskrz says:

    That’s why I use a Mac.

  51. ohsaycantyousee says:

    Not that I should really have to reply to the whether I have kids or not question, especially when it comes from a faceless, no-picture troll like salome456, but yes, I do. And my wife is a 2nd grade teacher so she gets to see the effects that consumerism on young minds has.

    So I’ll echo CO’s sentiments here and suggest that you get your head out of the sand and look around because yes, the consumerism of others does affect your life. Obviously, you’re too dulled out from it to be able to notice.

    I think someone here mentioned a book about the affect of consumerism on children a long time ago called "Born to Buy: The Commercialized Child and the New Consumer Culture" by Juliet Schor. I’ve read it and I highly recommend that you read it. It might help you open your eyes.

    So salome….what are your *ahem* "qualifications?" Do you have kids? Or are you still a teenager, thinking that you’re wise to the world already? Or are you a Mattel corporate shill? Just wondering.

    (ps -and just so we can head off the usual "pictures in public" bullshit argument at the pass – yes, pictures of people in public are allowed by law- http://www.krages.com/phoright.htm Be sure to read the section on "Permissible Subjects")

  52. matt19o8 says:

    You people have no clue how good you’ve got it! $100 dolls??!? HA! Back in my day, we had to MAKE our own dolls! And they had hair made of CORN HUSKS! When we cut the hair, we had to wait for the corn to grow the next growing season before we could replace it!

    And we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get it!

    BAH!

  53. TheOriginalCaptainObvious says:

    meowhous says:
    Oh, rats–I suppose it’s an improvement, but HumorSense ’95 isn’t compatible with the IronyPlugin, right?

    Sure, but you must have the CommonSense plugin installed first.
    I also heard that the ’08 version will come pre-packaged with the Self-Deprecating plugin. 😀

    matt19o8 says:
    You people have no clue how good you’ve got it! $100 dolls??!? HA! Back in my day, we had to MAKE our own dolls! And they had hair made of CORN HUSKS! When we cut the hair, we had to wait for the corn to grow the next growing season before we could replace it!

    And we had to walk ten miles in the snow to get it!

    BAH!

    WHAT????!???

    CO

  54. bfd995 S.W.A.K says:

    That doll is on my "Honey Do" list, Liv.
    Meow, The sense of humor plug-in works in Vista but I don’t get any sound.

    Remember the time Matt took his Corn Husk Doll to the barber to get it’s hair cut? And the whole barber shop made fun of him? Sheriff Taylor had to take him home and explain about the whole "Corn Husk" thing.

  55. Tequila&Donuts says:

    I want a bfd action figure! Or a livhouse troll doll!

  56. wskrz says:

    I want the bfd action figure! Does it have supersonic karate kick action? Or a high performance gyro launcher? Oh puleeeze tell me it’s got a simulated hoop of fire to jump through!!!!

  57. paronomeister™ says:

    Soreey laydees! I am a strictly limited edition

  58. bfd995 S.W.A.K says:

    If you put it in water, it grows up to ten times it’s normal size. If you flip it’s hair around backwards, you see Maingering’s face. If you push on it’s groin, it says "Kachow!"

  59. Tequila&Donuts says:

    Please say kung fu grip, please?

  60. salome456 says:

    To respond to all the silly comments: No, I’m not a troll or a corporate shill(which is probably your choice of ‘name-calling’ for anyone who disagrees with you in here), yes I have children(I’ve raised two to responsible adulthood), no I did not vote for Bush, either time, and yes I’ve seen Malingering’s site and photos. I think s/he has some deep-seated personal issues against AG, but hey….. it’s her choice. …and yours too.
    So………
    Keep ranting and complaining while this company still laughs all the way to the bank.
    "Whatever floats your boat!"

  61. bbdoyle says:

    whatever salome, it seems the truth hurts. methinks you complain too much…actually, your ranting verbal diarrhea is manifestly boring

  62. wskrz says:

    "I think s/he has some deep-seated personal issues against AG, but hey….. it’s her choice. "

    Deep-seated?

    That’s gotta be a difficult chair to get out of. Is that like those big, ridiculous round bamboo chairs that everyone had ten years ago that were so hard to get out of without breaking your leg?

    God, I hated those things. They were so damn ugly. They’d take up an entire room.

  63. Tequila&Donuts says:

    Keep ranting and complaining while this company still laughs all the way to the bank.

    I find it interesting that you’ve said that a couple of times because it implies that the company knows that they’re putting one over on their consumers. And isn’t that sort of what we’re all saying?

  64. wskrz says:

    That’s what I thought.

    Thanks for the validation.

  65. paronomeister™ says:

    Silly? I learned a long time ago that the only place to get "serious" is on my own photostream. Anywhere else it’s a pain in the ass, but as I see it on my own patch people are free to leave.

  66. matt19o8 says:

    YAY! Ranting and complaining! Now THAT’S something I can get behind!

    ….it might take me a while….but I’ll get behind it dammit!

  67. Prayers For Y'all says:

    You are all doomed to hades for worshipping false idols. And shame on all of you for teaching your daughters to be whores.

  68. AssbasherAtCollege says:

    i pad 20 dollers 2 have my pubes smooth. the bows hurt

  69. ohsaycantyousee says:

    To respond to all the silly comments: No, I’m not a troll or a corporate shill(which is probably your choice of ‘name-calling’ for anyone who disagrees with you in here), yes I have children(I’ve raised two to responsible adulthood), no I did not vote for Bush, either time, and yes I’ve seen Malingering’s site and photos. I think s/he has some deep-seated personal issues against AG, but hey….. it’s her choice. …and yours too.
    So………
    Keep ranting and complaining while this company still laughs all the way to the bank.
    "Whatever floats your boat!"

    Good riddance. You overstayed your welcome and were becoming very repetitious and weren’t helping your "cause." Last I checked, you weren’t required to make a comment here to begin with. If you don’t like or agree with what you see, MOVE ON. You don’t have to leave comments and invite "silly comments" that might "offend" you.

    If you want to comment, go do it somewhere else, like your own photostream, where you can enjoy the sound of your half-assed logic.

    Don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out. And please pick up a free parting gift of a sense of humor before you leave.

  70. paramahansa says:

    my dear salome, normally in cases like yours I would suggest smoking some dried lotus leaves and just release all the hatred and tensions from your chakra, but I think you are too fucking gone for that…sorry

  71. pork_is_good says:

    I have some pig carcasses in the freezer you could test those pubes out on, assbasher.

  72. AssbasherAtCollege says:

    my bubba iz the 1 they call pig fuker

  73. holierthanyall says:

    All of you are going to HELL for your rampant commercialization and overspending! Your money won’t be able to save you from the doom that awaits you and all the CEOs of the major corporations that haven’t seen the Truth of the errors of their ways!

    And there’s a special place there for you Assbasher! It’s the hottest corner of hell that will keep you for eternity!

  74. Prayers For Y'all says:

    holierthanyall, you are not holier than I! I have spread out my hands all the day unto a rebellious people, which walketh in a way that was not good, after their own thoughts; A people that provoketh me to anger continually to my face; that sacrificeth in gardens, and burneth incense upon altars of brick; Which remain among the graves, and lodge in the monuments, which eat swine’s flesh, and broth of abominable things is in their vessels; Which say, Stand by thyself, come not near to me; for I am holier than thou. These are a smoke in my nose, a fire that burneth all the day. You will find your death amongst these heathens, these preachers of lewd.

  75. holierthanyall says:

    "Whoever loves money never has money enough; whoever loves wealth is never satisfied with his income. This too is meaningless." Ecclesiastes 5:10

    ""No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money." Matthew 6:24

    "Be not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money." 1 Timothy 3:3

    "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs." 1 Timothy 6:10

    "People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy," 2 Timothy 3:2

    "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you." "Hebrews 13:5

  76. holierthanyall says:

    Prayers For Y’all, the religion and faith you subscribe to will lead you to the same pits of eternal fire that these heathens will be frying in! Your faith is false and you shall pay! Repent before the Holy One and burn yourself in the cleansing fire!

    I am, and forever shall be, much holier than you! My place in heaven was secured before I was born, which is much more than I can say for you, you horrible excuse for a believer!

    Wash yourself in the waters of repentance before they overtake you and drown you!

  77. Prayers For Y'all says:

    Oh you quote from the Bible as if it were your native tongue but you are just a fowl following a lamb into the slaughter of vanity. You are not to be holier than I. You are a betrayer of all you say, boasting of your magic belief. The fires of hell will leap at your feet and death shall be upon all that you know and believe. God will smote you and all your kind. Liars and deceivers that wait to be delivered into the hands of Satan. He will hold you in his palm and then crush you to dust.

    Whore.

  78. holierthanyall says:

    At least I know my Bible, the true word of the Eternal Lord God, and what it says, unlike you, you pretender! Maybe you would be saved from hell if you actually read what your Father in heaven wrote for you. Only then would be saved from the devil and his fire!

  79. TheOriginalCaptainObvious says:

    salome456 says:

    To respond to all the silly comments: No, I’m not a troll or a corporate shill(which is probably your choice of ‘name-calling’ for anyone who disagrees with you in here), yes I have children(I’ve raised two to responsible adulthood), no I did not vote for Bush, either time, and yes I’ve seen Malingering’s site and photos. I think s/he has some deep-seated personal issues against AG, but hey….. it’s her choice. …and yours too.
    So………
    Keep ranting and complaining while this company still laughs all the way to the bank.
    "Whatever floats your boat!"

    Water. Didn’t you take physics in school? Water floats my boat and everyone elses. Unless, of course, you live on Pluto.

    holierthanyall says:

    Prayers For Y’all, the religion and faith you subscribe to will lead you to the same pits of eternal fire that these heathens will be frying in! Your faith is false and you shall pay! Repent before the Holy One and burn yourself in the cleansing fire!

    I am, and forever shall be, much holier than you! My place in heaven was secured before I was born, which is much more than I can say for you, you horrible excuse for a believer!

    Wash yourself in the waters of repentance before they overtake you and drown you!

    A lovely thought, but I can’t swim. Damn.

    Prayers For Y’all says:

    Oh you quote from the Bible as if it were your native tongue but you are just a fowl following a lamb into the slaughter of vanity. You are not to be holier than I. You are a betrayer of all you say, boasting of your magic belief. The fires of hell will leap at your feet and death shall be upon all that you know and believe. God will smote you and all your kind. Liars and deceivers that wait to be delivered into the hands of Satan. He will hold you in his palm and then crush you to dust.

    Whore.

    Ah, shit. DId I miss the whore again? I’m always too late.

    CO

  80. Prayers For Y'all says:

    Yes I see that you feel free to boast of your biblical knowledge. The evil always do. But you will not wickedly charm me with your false piety, you betrayer of the faith, you whore.

    Whore.

  81. FlyingSpaghettiMonster says:

    “Judge not, for verily it be not thine job neither most likely to be thine business.”

    “Be kind unto others whether they are kind unto you or not, for it maketh you the better person in most situations, and occasionally it doth piss off an idiot, which is funny unto Your Lord the Sauced One.”

  82. TheOriginalCaptainObvious says:

    Dammit. Where’s the whore?

    I’m jonesing, here.

    CO

  83. holierthanyall says:

    ""Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are." Matthew 23:15

    And it seems that 1 Timothy 4:2 was written specially for you, Prayers For Y’all!

    "Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron."

  84. TheOriginalCaptainObvious says:

    You people are boring the shit out of me.

    Bring on the whores, dammit!!

    CO

  85. C U Next Teusday says:

    I’m here.

  86. TheOriginalCaptainObvious says:

    FINALLY!!!!

    Now, let’s see some boobs.

    And bring me a beer.

    CO

  87. paramahansa says:

    from the Kama Sutra:

    "There is joy in three things; eating meat, riding meat and putting meat into meat."

  88. Prayers For Y'all says:

    holierthanyall, I see you have made the blood run sin hot with a brother in this room. As you try to entice others into believing you are the true believer here. All can look upon others works and quote it as their own. To use the Word to shore your rocky brothel is indeed a wrenching of all that is holy. God will see to your judgement, not I – but I am duty bound to call out and expose you for what you are.

    Whore.

  89. TheOriginalCaptainObvious says:

    You know, paramahansa, there are only three things in life that count:

    Position, position, position.

    Hey, prayersforyall – you know the address of that brothel?

    I’d give you, like, five bucks for it.

    CO

  90. TheOriginalCaptainObvious says:

    OK, back to surfing for porn.

    It’s been real.

    CO

  91. whoreriffic says:

    Did someone call for whores?

    I’M HERE!!! Let’s get this party started!!!

    WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  92. AssbasherAtCollege says:

    i mailed u my # Captain. i luv a man out of uniform. & i’m free!

  93. whoreriffic says:

    nononono…..Captain, let me show you a real good time! I’m right here, honey. Ready and waiting….

  94. AssbasherAtCollege says:

    NO!!!!11!!!! i am the 1 with bows on me pubes

  95. bfd995 S.W.A.K says:

    Assbasher, what ever happened to your American Girl doll? It looked exactly like you… minus the strap-on.

  96. veggirl38 says:

    Check this out!!!

    http://www.heelarious.com/

    People are freaking CRAZY!!!

  97. TheOriginalCaptainObvious says:

    Ah, shit. What next, garters? And would those tykes then be called streetcrawlers?

    whoreriffic says:
    nononono…..Captain, let me show you a real good time! I’m right here, honey. Ready and waiting….

    Well, I need a few particulars first. How tall are you?

    CO

  98. meowhous the iconoclast says:

    Oh, sure–there’s a store in freakin’ Bakersfield but none in the bay area! Now what am I supposed to do for baby showers?

  99. padme9990 says:

    its do hard to do a pony tail or put a ribbon around your dolls head

Comments are closed.